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People of all shapes and sizes can engage in sexual activity and sexual intercourse. However, differences in body types mean that one person’s favorite sex positions could be less pleasurable or even uncomfortable for someone else. It is important to find comfortable and pleasurable positions that suit one’s body type and abilities. Many sexually active plus-size individuals may find themselves in positions that do not deliver pleasure nor comfort.
The following are a few sex positions that promote safe, enjoyable sex while avoiding common problems caused by weight or size. Give them a try!
The missionary position is one of the most basic and easy sexual positions to maintain during intercourse. To achieve this position, one partner lies on their back with their legs typically bent and spread open while the other partner supports themselves on top of them. In this position, partners are able to face one another. While missionary is not considered to be the most exciting position, it does allow for sexual stimulation, intimacy, and comfort. The partner who is laying down can also stimulate themselves or their partner with their hands at the same time. This position will be the most comfortable for plus size individuals when pillows are added underneath the hips and buttocks of the partner who is laying on their back. The addition of pillows allows for a different angle of penetration while adding support and comfort. G-spot stimulation is increased with the use of pillows. Furthermore, the top partner, who is generally the penetrating partner, places their knees and forearms on the bed to avoid placing their weight on the bottom partner. This position allows for more flexible movement, both partners to be physically closer, and mutual comfort and satisfaction.1
Having one partner on top of another can be somewhat difficult if both partners have large abdomens. The “Reverse Cowgirl” position provides a way around this obstacle. In this position, the partner on the bottom is generally the penetrator and lays down face-up. The top partner sits on the bottom partner’s genitals. The top partner would lean forward-facing the bottom partner’s legs; thus, their abdomens will not interfere with sexual intercourse.1
Legs on Shoulders
One partner, generally the one performing penetration, while upright on their knees, lifts their partner’s ankles and places them on or over their shoulders. The upright partner holds on to their partner’s hips or lifts their partner’s butt with their hands. Alternatively, the partner receiving penetration can lay on a high bed, with their hips close to the edge of the bed so that the upright partner can penetrate without holding on to their partner’s weight.1 Pillows can be placed under the receiving partner’s back and hips in order to provide extra support and increase comfort. During penetration, partners are able to find ways of stimulating and exploring the other’s body by touching their partner’s legs, arms, breasts, and hips for further stimulation and intimacy.
If both partners have larger abdomens, this position may be challenging or uncomfortable. To engage in the doggy style position, one partner, typically the one performing penetration, stands on their knees behind their partner. The partner in front rests on their hands and knees. Then, the back partner penetrates the person who is on their hands and knees from behind. The receiving partner’s hips can be held on to and used as leverage for thrusting. A pillow can be placed under the stomach of the partner in front to allow for support. If both partners are comfortable and willing, this position allows for spanking and hair-pulling. If the partner in front has a vulva, their partner can reach around and stimulate their clitoris, vulva, and breasts during penetration. If the partner in front has a penis, then the penis and testicles can also be stimulated.
Side-by-Side Rear Entry
Side-by-side rear entry is one of the easier positions, but it tends to be less stimulating because it limits movement. This position is similar to doggy style in that it involves rear entry. Side-by-side rear entry requires both partners to lie down on their sides. One partner lies in front of the other with their back facing their partner. The partner in the back penetrates the partner in the front. This position is very similar to spooning. Side-by-side rear entry coitus could be difficult if the penetrating partner has a larger stomach that makes the distance between the two partners too large for penetration.2 If this is the case the penetrating partner can lean back so their hips are closer and at a better angle for penetration. The front partner could also bend forward to achieve the same effect.
The Seated Position
Another comfortable position for people who are plus size is the seated position, in which the partners use a sturdy chair to assist in intercourse. The penetrating partner will sit normally in the chair. The top partner will face their partner and straddle them. The top partner can put their feet down and use the ground to facilitate movement. Another way to have coital sex in the seated position is to have the penetrating partner sit on the chair and the other partner sit on them while allowing the seated partner to penetrate from behind.3 This variation of the seated position can help stay balanced and avoid large abdomens from getting in the way of having sex while facing each other. Variations can be made with the top partner holding onto the other person and leaning back at various angles to allow for different angles of penetration.
If coitus proves too uncomfortable or not stimulating enough, partners can turn to non-coital forms of stimulation. These sexual practices also tend to be easier than coitus when both partners are overweight. Partners can engage in mutual masturbation, where they manually stimulate each other’s genitals. Over the years, oral sex has become grown in popularity. Fellatio, oral stimulation of the penis, occurs when one person inserts their penis into their partner’s mouth. The partner moves the penis in and out of their mouth, keeping their lips somewhat pursed to provide stimulation. The tongue can also be used to stimulate sensitive portions of the penis such as the corona and the frenulum. Cunnilingus, oral stimulation of the vulva, is another option. In cunnilingus, one partner uses their tongue and lips to stimulate their partner’s vulva. The tongue is a useful tool in stimulation because it is wet, soft, and extremely mobile. Another oral sex option would be to engage in the “69” position. In this position, both partners perform simultaneous oral sex. They can be side-by-side or one partner can be on top as the other lays on their back. Coitus is not necessary to attain sexual fulfillment and satisfaction.2
There are plenty of fun sexually stimulating activities for lovers to enjoy, but the key is to find positions that are exciting and comfortable to engage in. New positions can be exciting for couples; but often, the best sex comes when individuals find what works best for them and their bodies.2 Communicating with one’s partner about sexual preferences and comfort can enhance the sexual experience for both partners. Sexual satisfaction should not be restricted due to discomfort caused by extra weight. There are a plethora of comfortable sexual positions available for plus-size persons to experience and fulfill their sexual desires. From reverse cowgirl to non-coital stimulation, people who are overweight can enjoy novelty and comfort in pleasurable sexual acts. Experimentation and communication to find what is comfortable and more fun for both partners will help those who are plus size fully experience and enjoy their sex lives.
1. Page, D. (2019, January 17). 10 Hottest Sex Positions All Plus-Size Couples Should Know. AskMen. https://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60/69_love_tip.html.
2. Levay, S., Baldwin, J. D., & Baldwin, J. I. (2015). Discovering Human Sexuality (3rd ed.). Sinauer Associates, Inc. Publishers.
3. Tantry, T. (2020, August 31). • 5 Best Sex Positions for Overweight People. Flo.health – #1 mobile product for women’s health. https://flo.health/menstrual-cycle/sex/pleasure/sex-positions-for-overweight-people.
Last Updated: 3 March 2021